Loose Change

Today while I looked for some loose change in my wallet, I came across a picture of you.

You had a little smile and some of my lipstick on your face.

After a while of staring at the picture, I realised, I’d almost forgotten about that day.

Some of it came to mind.

Bits of conversations, Mexican food and piggy back rides.

A few weeks after we fell apart; I remembered it so well I could almost feel your lips on mine again.

The way your tee shirt felt and your hands.

My God, those hands.

But now, it was fading.

I couldn’t even recall our last kiss.

Maybe because I wasn’t aware that it would be our last.

Soon, I won’t even remember the colour of your tee shirt or what cologne you had on just like you won’t remember the song we danced to or any of my birthmarks.

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Crazy Little Thing Called Crush

Crushes are harmless.

9 out of 10 times, they just end up turning into a ridiculous period of time in your life you’d rather pretend didn’t happen.

But that one time out of ten it lasts for longer than you’d imagined it could; is enough to crush you for a very, very long time.

There are so many different kinds of crushes.

The Childhood Crush : That one boy/girl in first grade you were sure you were going to marry.

The Lives Right Around The Corner Crush : They live so close but yet, nothing has ever happened and probably never will. However, you will still be devastated to find out they aren’t single anymore.

The Borderline Obsessive Celebrity Crush : We’ve all had one. Don’t even try to deny it.

The Known Them For Too Long Crush : You’ve seen this person at their worst, their best and probably naked too. Sometimes you find yourself wondering why you never ended up together before realising you’re better off as friends.

The Friend Crush : When you meet someone and can’t wait to be friends with them. Something about them just makes you wish you got along really well.

The Not So Friend Crush : You think it’s a friend crush, nothing can really go wrong here. You just like how their weirdness mixes with yours. You get along well and understand each other’s references. This is what friends do. Nothing weird here.

But then you find yourself subtly hitting on them, wanting to tell them more things, thinking of fast food joints they’d love.

You see them wearing a black dress that looks like it was made for them.

You’re fucked.

What does one do when they have a crush on someone they shouldn’t?

You simply write a post about it and hope they don’t read it.

 

 

 

“I’m So Bored, I Could Die”

At eighteen, you’d think I would enjoy going on dates, meeting new people and doing all the crazy things this town seems to never run out of. 

Clubs, bars, gigs, movies. 

I should enjoy it more but I don’t. 

I despise it. Especially so if it’s a date. 

You see, I’ve always been a sucker for the simpler things. 

A walk, a cigarette run, sitting in random places and talking; not just repeating yourself over and over because the music is loud enough to drown your sentences. Places where it’s quiet enough to hear them smile, where there’s no need to whisper but you do it anyway so you get that little rush when your lips get closer to the side of their face. Where it’s bright enough to see their eyes like you never have before or dark enough to almost miss them blushing but still feel it. Whatever happened to just wanting to spend time with someone? 

Why do we spend more time making plans than we do enjoying them?

Have we really reached a point where we’re bored so easily that we can’t go a few hours without doing something but just focusing on the person we’re with? 

I know I haven’t.

First (I Hope There’s More)

Firsts have always been my favourite.

First phone calls. First accidental touches. Laid-back first dates that you can only ever have when you both aren’t aware it’s a date.

Everything is new and untainted. No overthinking, no doubts, no insecurities.

It starts off innocently, you realise something about their smile keeps you from sleeping till the sun comes up. You find yourself in the shower thinking about the way they laugh when you say something moderately funny.

You spend almost an entire night speaking on the phone, no awkward silences, just laughter.

Little things like listening to a Hozier song reminds you of them. You’re excited again.

You wait for a phone call, knowing very well that even if it lasts only for ten minutes, it’ll still be your favourite part of the day.

You stand there listening to each word as carefully as ever because you know you will never have these firsts again.

You’ll never be this eager to know their favourite song again.