Sunday 

I wonder if she knows 

how much you love staying up all night 

and watching the sun rise. 

I wonder if she knows 

about all the bad days you have 

and how you like your eggs. 

Does she know about that night 

you kissed me to your favourite song? 

Lord knows my mind hasn’t shut up about that. 

I wonder if she likes the freckles on your nose 

and the way you always smell like Armani Code. 

But most of all I wonder how she tastes 

because ever since I’ve had yours lips on mine,

he tastes like a mistake. 

Advertisements

Fusilli In Cauliflower Sauce

As an ambitious child who couldn’t wait to grow up, I always imagined myself being quite stable by now. I had seen all the things that people had done wrong and decided I’d learn from them.

 “I will never drink too much. I won’t smoke too often. No drugs. I won’t ever cheat. Never believe in religion.”

Well, I kept to one of those. 

I made all the mistakes I thought I never would and then some. I lost every little bit of ambition, I don’t have goals and I thrive on misery but I think I’m doing okay. I feel like an adult. Every now and then I think about how people are always telling me that drinking excessively, smoking and being apathetic does not make you an adult. But what does? Because all the adults I know now and ever knew, did things – maybe not the exact same things but nevertheless, still things that destroyed them in one way or another. I am all the people I have ever known. I am a dysfunctional adult but so are the rest of you because there is no other kind and while I realise that I am a mess, I will not change a thing. Well, maybe a few tiny things. I might just replace my greasy mac & cheese with fusilli cooked in cauliflower sauce sprinkled with cashew cheese. 

Loose Change

Today while I looked for some loose change in my wallet, I came across a picture of you.

You had a little smile and some of my lipstick on your face.

After a while of staring at the picture, I realised, I’d almost forgotten about that day.

Some of it came to mind.

Bits of conversations, Mexican food and piggy back rides.

A few weeks after we fell apart; I remembered it so well I could almost feel your lips on mine again.

The way your tee shirt felt and your hands.

My God, those hands.

But now, it was fading.

I couldn’t even recall our last kiss.

Maybe because I wasn’t aware that it would be our last.

Soon, I won’t even remember the colour of your tee shirt or what cologne you had on just like you won’t remember the song we danced to or any of my birthmarks.

Crazy Little Thing Called Crush

Crushes are harmless.

9 out of 10 times, they just end up turning into a ridiculous period of time in your life you’d rather pretend didn’t happen.

But that one time out of ten it lasts for longer than you’d imagined it could; is enough to crush you for a very, very long time.

There are so many different kinds of crushes.

The Childhood Crush : That one boy/girl in first grade you were sure you were going to marry.

The Lives Right Around The Corner Crush : They live so close but yet, nothing has ever happened and probably never will. However, you will still be devastated to find out they aren’t single anymore.

The Borderline Obsessive Celebrity Crush : We’ve all had one. Don’t even try to deny it.

The Known Them For Too Long Crush : You’ve seen this person at their worst, their best and probably naked too. Sometimes you find yourself wondering why you never ended up together before realising you’re better off as friends.

The Friend Crush : When you meet someone and can’t wait to be friends with them. Something about them just makes you wish you got along really well.

The Not So Friend Crush : You think it’s a friend crush, nothing can really go wrong here. You just like how their weirdness mixes with yours. You get along well and understand each other’s references. This is what friends do. Nothing weird here.

But then you find yourself subtly hitting on them, wanting to tell them more things, thinking of fast food joints they’d love.

You see them wearing a black dress that looks like it was made for them.

You’re fucked.

What does one do when they have a crush on someone they shouldn’t?

You simply write a post about it and hope they don’t read it.