The Roads

The rivers are shallow,

The city can’t swallow me.

I’m choking on all the dust,

I’m choking on all the lust surrounding me.
I’m walking on all these streets, 

I’m looking at all the things I’ve never seen. 

Some men stop and look at me, 

pull out a gun and say follow me. 
But the roads were never to blame, 

I was shot in the head for my own mistakes.

My dress was too short, my knees were too pretty,

I moisturised them daily.
The bridges are alive, 

we’ve spent almost all day in line.

We’re all out of money, 

are we just paying to breathe around here?
All I see is broken glasses, bus stops 

and corrupted cops. 

I remember some beauty, 

I was so enchanted by all I hadn’t seen.

I think I saw too much, 

I think I’ll drown the cross around my neck. 
But the roads were never to blame, 

my faith was never that strong anyway. 

I believed in right and wrong but now 

all I know is that God is gone 

and our bodies will never be ours.

Not Quite Yours

I light a cigarette and think about how I always wanted to spend Friday night

drunk enough to forget where I come from

with someone whose name I never learned. 
Now I only long to be snuggled up next to my window, aching to have your lazy body against mine as I listen to you talk about your day. 
I want your weekday exhaustion and your Friday night relief. 

I want your sleep drenched kisses, your saliva, and your warm breath. 
I light another. 
Strained voices and muffled laughter. 

I ask you what you’re wearing and imagine you trying to fall asleep beside me, my fingers running through your hair. 
I hear you go quiet and smile to myself, 

put out the cigarette with my fingers and shut the window. 

I then lie in my bed with all of you on my mind and fall asleep to the sound of you breathing.

Sunday

Today I couldn’t remember what I ate for dinner last night. It’s funny how that works. Sometimes we can’t remember things we want to and others, we can’t forget if we tried. I have all these unnecessary details about you stuck in my head. I don’t think about it a lot but sometimes it comes over me. Like the urge a dog has to chase a car. 

Loose Change

Today while I looked for some loose change in my wallet, I came across a picture of you.

You had a little smile and some of my lipstick on your face.

After a while of staring at the picture, I realised, I’d almost forgotten about that day.

Some of it came to mind.

Bits of conversations, Mexican food and piggy back rides.

A few weeks after we fell apart; I remembered it so well I could almost feel your lips on mine again.

The way your tee shirt felt and your hands.

My God, those hands.

But now, it was fading.

I couldn’t even recall our last kiss.

Maybe because I wasn’t aware that it would be our last.

Soon, I won’t even remember the colour of your tee shirt or what cologne you had on just like you won’t remember the song we danced to or any of my birthmarks.

Crazy Little Thing Called Crush

Crushes are harmless.

9 out of 10 times, they just end up turning into a ridiculous period of time in your life you’d rather pretend didn’t happen.

But that one time out of ten it lasts for longer than you’d imagined it could; is enough to crush you for a very, very long time.

There are so many different kinds of crushes.

The Childhood Crush : That one boy/girl in first grade you were sure you were going to marry.

The Lives Right Around The Corner Crush : They live so close but yet, nothing has ever happened and probably never will. However, you will still be devastated to find out they aren’t single anymore.

The Borderline Obsessive Celebrity Crush : We’ve all had one. Don’t even try to deny it.

The Known Them For Too Long Crush : You’ve seen this person at their worst, their best and probably naked too. Sometimes you find yourself wondering why you never ended up together before realising you’re better off as friends.

The Friend Crush : When you meet someone and can’t wait to be friends with them. Something about them just makes you wish you got along really well.

The Not So Friend Crush : You think it’s a friend crush, nothing can really go wrong here. You just like how their weirdness mixes with yours. You get along well and understand each other’s references. This is what friends do. Nothing weird here.

But then you find yourself subtly hitting on them, wanting to tell them more things, thinking of fast food joints they’d love.

You see them wearing a black dress that looks like it was made for them.

You’re fucked.

What does one do when they have a crush on someone they shouldn’t?

You simply write a post about it and hope they don’t read it.